My wife, Jenny, was diagnosed with breast cancer on December 31, 2014. She went through extensive treatments but they were ultimately unsuccessful. The cancer returned and spread when found again in July 2022. She went home to be with the Lord on January 18, 2023. I had no idea.
The next morning during my prayer time, I was earnestly asking the Lord to let me know about her well-being (I still cared deeply about her though divorced by her in Oct. 2018). In the providence of God, I looked up and noticed on my iPhone an apparent tribute to her on Facebook by one of my sons.
I called my oldest son and left a message to call me back. The next day he emailed me and said Jenny had died under hospice care. He also told me she did not want me to know about her cancer returning and the children did not want me to attend the upcoming Memorial Service in two weeks.
During the two week interval, I reached out to all of them in kindness and grace. I also wrote a tribute to Jenny. I mourned with my dear children in their loss. They loved their mother. I was not expecting what was about to happen.
My daughter has been the most outspoken against me. Jesus taught “a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.” She gave the eulogy at the Memorial Service but not until she took the occasion to speak against me. Two days later, I came across the video on Vimeo looking for Jenny’s obituary. It was grievous beyond words.
Carolyn was a member at Good Shepherd Anglican Church in Cornelius, NC. The betrayal was gut-wrenching. It necessitated a response to her in redemptive relief (i.e., for a good purpose). I wrote the members of the church. That was three years ago.
I have not posted the letter until now because I defended myself in it. That included the exposing of my daughter and family. I have not wanted to make it public but it became necessary when I recently learned of Carolyn’s on-going slander of me to malevolent individuals earnestly seeking to destroy me. That is not an overstatement.
My Father’s Day Gift in 2003
Here is an excerpt from a personal letter I wrote Rachael Denhollander and Heather Thompson-Bryant in my agony in 2019. Heather was the lead plaintiff in the sex abuse lawsuit against C.J. Mahaney, Sovereign Grace Ministries (SGM) and others. SGM later changed their name to Sovereign Grace Churches (SGC).
“Over the past eight years [2011-2019], people have advocated bodily harm against me, prayed for my death, sought to frame me, attempted to extort me, betrayed me, created many false accusations against me, denied me all due process, sought to intimidate me with the threat of lawsuits, sent cease and desist letters from lawyers in an attempt to silence me, continuously slandered me, excommunicated me three times, recruited national leaders against me, sent vicious hate mail to attack me, and generally done all manner of evil to undermine me; yet nothing is so painful as the loss of one’s family.
"I love my dear wife and children. I would do anything for them except that I cannot deny Christ or disobey his Word in the face of evil for the sake of peace, material well-being, reputational favor, or personal ease. He has brought a sword (Matthew 10:32-39).”
The hatred of my daughter came to a climax in February 2023 at Jenny’s Memorial Service. I had to write the members in her church to set the record straight. For example:
"When Carolyn says I “became increasing disconnected from realty” she wants you to believe I am insane, out of my mind, and crazy. The medical term is psychosis.
"Psychosis is a condition that affects the way your brain processes information. It causes you to lose touch with reality. You might see, hear, or believe things that aren’t real."
"I don’t say this with malice but Carolyn is the one disconnected from reality. By that I mean disconnected from the facts, the truth, and the evidence. She has not studied my body of work. Instead, she has believed the talking points put out by Sovereign Grace Churches. I do not mean she has a mental illness."
I was also sorely disappointed the priest-pastor, Kyle Wallace, allowed and/or condone her deceptive words and hateful actions.
I had friends in attendance at the service. Carolyn told them upfront they would not like some of what she had to say in the eulogy. She then proceeded to libel me and in so doing deceived them. She has spread these same lies throughout Sovereign Grace Churches which the leaders and pastors have used to discredit me. Only now am I publicly addressing them.
This is the first time I’ve made public the letter to Good Shepherd Anglican Church. The fight for truth continues.
From: Brent Detwiler
Sent: Saturday, February 18, 2023 3:18 PM
To: Good Shepherd Anglican Church
Subject: Responding to Carolyn’s Comments About Me at Jenny’s Memorial Service
To Good Shepherd Anglican Church,
Last week I listened to the Memorial Service for Jenny. I am grateful for those of you who participated and also for those who loved her during her years at Good Shepherd.
I am dismayed, however, that Carolyn took the occasion to malign me in multiple ways. I want to address them for your benefit. Such slanders harm you and don’t contribute to the kingdom of God. In fact, they aid the kingdom of darkness.
I have taken the time to do this at some length. That was not my original intention but I ended up deciding to include evidence and go into some detail. I don’t expect you will read all the supporting documentation.
I’ve included vital material that I have never made public. This is the first time I have chosen to defend myself. I hope you understand why that is appropriate. Carolyn’s comments were public, libelous in nature, and broadcast on Vimeo.
For my part, I have never demeaned Jenny or my family. I’ve only written about Jenny’s cancer in the past and honored her in the recent tribute.
Update on Jenny's Fight Against Breast Cancer
Wednesday, November 4, 2015 at 4:26PM
A Tribute to My Dear Jenny (07/08/60 – 01/18/23)
Sunday, January 22, 2023 at 12:14PM
Before you proceed please read My Story - Updated. It gives an overview of my life’s work in relation to Sovereign Grace Ministries (the name was changed to Sovereign Grace Churches, Inc. in April 2013). For the past 12 years, I’ve had to expose their pervasive corruption, abusive leadership, and long term conspiracy to commit and cover up the sexual abuse of children.
100 Articles from 2012-2018 on the Conspiracy to Commit & Cover Up the Sexual Abuse of Children in Sovereign Grace Ministries
Wednesday, January 9, 2019 at 11:05AM
You can begin to comprehend the horror of the abuse and the scope of the conspiracy by reading the 46 page lawsuit brought against C.J. Mahaney, Sovereign Grace Ministries, et al. The final version is called the Second Amended Complaint.
second+amended+sgm+lawsuit.pdf (sqspcdn.com)
May 14, 2013
There were 12 plaintiffs in the lawsuit. I knew most of the families but I did not know about their abuse. Why? Because C.J. Mahaney hid it from me even though I was the number 2 leader in SGM during most of the 25 years I served on the Board of Directors.
He did this because I would have demanded all allegations of child abuse be reported to law enforcement. If fact, I made certain this was done in 1995 and 2000 in a church I directly oversaw. In both cases, the abuser was sentenced to over 20 years.
Furthermore, the conspiracy to commit and cover up sexual abuse went well beyond that contained in the lawsuit. For example, in the case of Nathaniel Morales. I attended his trial, assisted law enforcement, and covered the story.
He too was convicted and sentenced to 40 years in August 2014. C.J. and his senior staff covered up the crimes as proven in sworn testimony. As a result Morales abused countless children around the U.S. including a stepson. This was all due to C.J.’s cover up of his crimes in 1991.
C.J. Mahaney, Covenant Life Church & the Conspiracy to Cover-up the Sexual Abuse of Children
Tuesday, February 13, 2018 at 12:42PM
Another example surrounds Charlie and Greer Llewellyn and their nine children. According to their three oldest children all nine were physically and sexually abused by their parents.
I exposed the cover-up of these crimes by Mahaney and his staff in 2013. I worked closely with Grace Goe (pseudonym) who is the second oldest child. She was a plaintiff in the lawsuit and asked me to write this article.
The Conspiracy Surrounding Plaintiff Grace Goe at Covenant Life Church
Tuesday, June 4, 2013 at 5:18PM
I also wrote other articles like this one.
The Day the Devil Came Knocking on My Door. My Face to Face Confrontation of Charlie & Greer Llewellyn for the Horrific Abuse of Their Nine Children.
Friday, June 11, 2021 at 4:02PM
In another situation, the conspiracy included the use of a “hush fund” to prevent an associate pastor from joining the lawsuit when his son was repeatedly sodomized by the senior pastor’s son. I exposed it.
Hush Fund Set Up by Top SGM Leaders to Meet the Demands of a SGM Pastor Whose Son Was Sexually Abused
March 30, 2015
These three illustrations are a small sampling of my work.
The full body of work helped put sexual abuse within the Protestant and evangelical church on the front page. In God’s good providence, my articles have been read by hundreds of thousands of people. They have contributed to a sea change within the Christian community.
These documented accounts helped pastors and people understand how sexual predators operate and how to protect against them. The articles also helped equip pastors to care for victims and their families. Further, the work educated leaders about the need to report allegations to law enforcement. Finally, the accounts demonstrated that God Almighty will expose leaders who cover up crimes to sinfully protect against reputational harm, loss of members, and loss of income.
For example, I worked with Washingtonian magazine, Christianity Today, Rachael Denhollander, and WORLD. Warren Smith even did an interview with me for his radio program in 2015. Both he and Kyle Wallace commended my work. I also produced evidence for the FBI upon request. Here is the documentation.
The Sex-Abuse Scandal That Devastated a Suburban Megachurch - Washingtonian
Inside the rise and fall of Sovereign Grace Ministries.
Tiffany Stanley
February 14, 2016
Mark Galli, Editor in Chief of Christianity Today, Calls for a Fresh & Thorough Independent Investigation of Sovereign Grace Ministries
Thursday, March 22, 2018 at 4:56PM
Christianity Today Interview with Rachael Denhollander Including Condemnation of C.J. Mahaney & Sovereign Grace Ministries for Covering Up Child Abuse Was Second Most-Read Article in 2018
Monday, December 31, 2018 at 7:55PM
Introduction to Report for FBI Outlines Nature & Extent of Sexual Abuse in Sovereign Grace Ministries
Monday, November 18, 2019 at 10:59AM
I’d also point out that Rachael Denhollander continues to speak out against Sovereign Grace Churches. She did so last week. She is a lawyer, author, speaker, and the foremost advocate for victims in the U.S.
Survivors of abuse have cried out for years... - Rachael Denhollander | Facebook
February 9, 2023
In 2016 she contacted me having read all my articles. She said in pertinent part, “If you have seen or know anyone who has seen, any records corroborating absolutely anything the victims allege, I would be so grateful to know it. And thank you for your work exposing this evil.” I put her in contact with victims in Sovereign Grace and sent her more evidence. That continues.
Here is an excerpt from the interview Rachael did with Martha MacCallum of FOX NEWS on her prime-time newscast on March 16, 2018.
“Within Sovereign Grace Ministries you see a consistent pattern over decades of mishandling sexual assault allegations. You have pastors on record, including in police reports, who acknowledge that the practice was to handle things internally. You have multiple pedophiles, who were convicted, where the pastors are alleged by these families, independent of each other, to have interfered with the police investigations. You have allegations in almost half of the Sovereign Grace Churches across the country of this pattern and that is without any investigative reporting having even been done.”
You can listen to the entire interview at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeY_7O5BvD4&feature=youtu.be.
She also wrote a devastating response to Sovereign Grace Churches on her Facebook Page in March 2018. Here is the link: (3) Facebook. If I am crazy and disconnected from reality so is she.
My work also led to Dr. R. Albert Mohler, President of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, breaking off his close friendship with C.J. Mahaney and severing all ties to Sovereign Grace Churches. That occurred when Rachael gave Dr. Mohler my material about the bogus and fraudulent “independent investigation” done by Covenant Life Church which C.J. led for 25 years. I exposed it.
The Lars Liebeler “Independent” Investigation of Sexual Abuse at Covenant Life Church Finally Exposed as Utterly Corrupt Based on Never Seen Before Transcripts. C.J. Mahaney’s Claim of Vindication Another Great Deception.
Thursday, May 20, 2021 at 2:02PM
The Inside Story: Al Mohler Severed All Personal Ties With C.J. Mahaney & Sovereign Grace Churches Because Mahaney Deceived Him Into Believing An “Independent Investigation” of Abuse Was Done
Thursday, February 28, 2019 at 4:54PM
Here’s is a link to Dr. Mohler’s official statement about cutting ties with Mahaney and asking him to step down from ministry until a truly independent investigation was done. This was a stunning change of position by Mohler.
Statement from R. Albert Mohler Jr. on Sovereign Grace Churches | News - SBTS
R. Albert Mohler, Jr. — February 15, 2019
When I first began to write about the sexual abuse of children in Covenant Life Church and Sovereign Grace Ministries in October 2012, I was persecuted by top leaders around the nation in Reformed, Baptist, and evangelical branches of Christianity. That included Mohler. I was also opposed by my family.
Today, most of those leaders have also severed ties given the overwhelming evidence I’ve documented and Mahaney’s ongoing refusal to do an independent investigation. It is an amazing testimony to the sovereignty of God. “For all his words are right and his ways are just; and those who walk in pride he is able to humble” (Dan. 4:37).
Over the years, I’ve also been contacted by victims outside of Sovereign Grace Churches. It has been a joy to care for them and tell their stories when asked.
For example, the horrid story of children who were physically and sexually abused by “pastor” Tom Chantry in the Association of Reformed Baptist Churches in America (ARBCA). I worked with the prosecutor, attended two trials, covered the story for 3½ years (2016-2019), and produced 475 pages of evidence exposing the corrupt association of churches. Here’s an overview.
An Overview of My Ten-Part Series on the Abuse of Children by "Pastor" Tom Chantry & Its Cover-Up by the Association of Reformed Baptist Churches of America
Sunday, May 19, 2019 at 12:19PM
Chantry was sent to prison. All the top leaders were exposed. I was accused of being a false witness but the Lord prevailed. They were silenced with the guilty verdicts. ARBCA no longer exists. Praise be to God.
My work brought wide spread recognition leading to numerous interviews. This is one I did for The Excommunication Station. Its listeners are those who have been “excommunicated” from the church. It is normally a vulgar program promoting evil but the interview could not have gone better.
I am so glad I went on the program. I was hesitant. The host asked excellent questions. I was even able to share the gospel. I think it is a good listen. I was able to give a summary of what transpired in Sovereign Grace Ministries leading to its fall.
25. Interview With Brent Detwiler: Covenant/SGM's Fall And Sexual Abuse Coverup. by The Excommunication Station (anchor.fm)
December 1, 2021
There are many other examples of my work but this adequate. I don’t share the above to impress you. I share it to inform you. This is the work Carolyn has steadfastly opposed.
With that as a background, I turn to Carolyn’s comments about me.
“After having served in the same local church for 17 years, my mom again uprooted her life to help my Dad plant a new church in Mooresville. However, it soon became clear that the long term grip of narcissism and pride in his life had poisoned his relationships and career and he lost his job as a pastor and leader in the denomination he had helped start.”
Nothing in this paragraph is true. Let me explain.
We planted CrossWay Community Church in Charlotte with a wonderful church planting team in 1991. I led the church for 12 years. By the grace of God it grew and we built a large facility on 21 acres of land.
Soon after [we built the facility] I turned it [the church] over to Mickey Connolly, my executive pastor, because of my ever expanding responsibilities with Sovereign Grace Ministries. That was a bad decision. The church served as my base for five more years (2003-2008).
Some more background is vital in addressing Carolyn’s comments.
In August 2004, I led a crisis intervention meeting where the top leaders in Covenant Life Church (the flagship church in Gaithersburg, MD) and Sovereign Grace Ministries had to correct C.J. on his growing sins of pride, deceit, hypocrisy, independence, and mistreatment of others.
This intervention was preceded by four years of unsuccessful efforts to address these issues (2000-2004). It was followed by three more years of unheeded appeals (2005-2007). You can read about it in Part 1 - Response Regarding Friendship & Doctrine.pdf.
As a result, I resigned from the Board of Directors after 25 years as a matter of conscience in November 2007. I no longer trusted him. I could no longer work for him. I was not fired.
Instead, we decided to plant another church in 2008 but things only worsened due to C.J.’s anger at me for addressing the long term patterns of serious sin in his life. He sought to remove me from ministry through surrogates and false accusations. I resigned instead of dividing the new church in Mooresville.
In retrospect, I should have exposed the entire process. It was evil. You can read about it in Part 4 - The Untold Story (Updated Dec 3, 2019).pdf. On pages 44-46, you will find a lengthy letter by Seth [Carolyn’s husband] where he addresses the unscrupulous actions of Gene Emerson. He was one of C.J.’s surrogates. Emerson was later arrested and sentenced for the solicitation of prostitution.
Gene Emerson, Former Regional Leader for SGM, Found Guilty for Solicitation of Prostitution
Saturday, August 22, 2015 at 9:06AM
Mickey Connolly and Bob Kauflin also played a major role in this travesty of justice. They have done the same with the cover-up of sexual abuse in Sovereign Grace Churches.
Ten Common Cult-Like Characteristics Evident in Mickey Connolly’s Leadership
Sunday, August 12, 2012 at 5:44PM
“Where Does Bob Kauflin Fit Into All the Things You Write About?”
Wednesday, April 17, 2019 at 5:45PM
As a result, Jenny and I left Sovereign Grace Ministries in August 2009. This is all carefully documented. I did not lose my job as a pastor and leader due to “the long term grip of narcissism and pride” that “poisoned his relationships and career.” I lost my “job” because I was confronting sin of a very serious nature and could not continue with the ministry.
The issues I was addressing with C.J. are the very issues that caused Joshua Harris and Covenant Life Church to leave Sovereign Grace Ministries in December 2012. C.J. fled the church in anger when key pastors attempted to confront his sin. It divided the church and the movement.
Thousands of people (many of them young people) were badly stumble by his gross hypocrisy. It was due to his long term narcissism and pride and it poisoned his relationships. Over 40 churches, 300 leaders, and 12,000 people left SGM from 2012-2014. As a result of his actions, C.J. lost the vast majority of his closest friends.
To summate. Carolyn’s statement above is completely untrue. I did not lose my job as a leader in the denomination I helped to start. I resigned my job because of the growing corruption I had been addressing for the sake of the gospel and the good of our churches.
Carolyn continues.
“The decade beginning around 2009 marked a bitter twist in my mom’s life she never saw coming. My dad refused to get another job having lost his and increasingly isolated them. My mom lost her community, most of her friendships, her home, most of her belongings, all of their retirement, and perhaps most painful of all to her, the relationships within our family became greatly strained.”
I did not refuse to get another job. I actively looked for jobs. Carolyn knows this to be true. I also raised support for my work. Those donations made a significant difference.
If I remember correctly, Jenny and I began to attend Hickory Grove Baptist Church (north campus) in July 2011. In time, Kyler Smith became a friend. He was the children’s ministry director then. He is the senior associate pastor now. He reached out to Jenny in 2017 but she was not willing to meet with him.
I wrote this summary for Kyler in 2019 but it recounts the reasons for the strained relationships starting in 2010.
From: Brent Detwiler
Sent: Wednesday, August 14, 2019 2:19 PM
To: Kyler Smith
Subject: RE: Work for HGBC [Hickory Groave Baptist Church]
Hi Kyler,
Thanks for your kind note. I hope you are enjoying your new home and making progress in getting everything set up. What a wonderful development for you and the family.
At our lunch, you asked why Jenny and the kids were unsupportive. I wasn’t able to fully answer because we ran out of time to talk. There were several reasons.
- They didn’t want me to use retirements funds to help underwrite the work.
- They thought it was a worthless cause.
- They thought it was a harmful cause.
- They thought I was of the devil and cursed of God.
- They didn’t want to suffer the loss of friends in SGM by supporting me.
- They didn’t want to suffer the loss of reputation by supporting me.
- They often times didn’t believe what I was writing was true.
- They tended to believe SGM.
When I say “they” I don’t necessarily mean all of them but some combination. As a result, they thought it necessary to cut me off as punishment. That included divorce without cause. Only Jonathan maintained some contact.
I continually pray the mercies of the Lord upon my dear wife and children. I do not wish the Lord to hold anything against them. As for me, I may not be long upon this earth. He alone is my joy and consolation.
Brent
In this correspondence I speak charitably about the family. It was worse than you can imagine. I share the following rough draft note from May 2012 at the risk of being judged or misunderstood.
“The absence of any personal support and the ever-present opposition of the family has broken my heart. I am leaving for an extended period of time. I will take care of all the finances. Please take care of your mother. Tell the grandchildren I’ll miss them. I will be out of all contact.”
I never sent the note or acted upon it. There was no thought of divorce. I contemplated leaving for an extended period because the opposition of my family was fierce. For instance, I was compared to King Saul by Carolyn when he was tormented by evil spirits. It was an extremely painful time. Regardless, it was a sinful impulse.
Here is an excerpt from an article I wrote in 2012. My retirement account was not my account. [Meaning I was a steward. It belonged to the Lord for his purposes.]
Foxes, Birds and the Son of Man
Friday, August 31, 2012 at 9:10AM
Jesus has never required that I go without a “hole” or a “nest” but this is not above him. He is Lord. He has a claim on every area of my life. Following him may mean homelessness. I constantly marvel at what the Son of Man was willing to endure on my behalf in his life and his death. I’ve never been without a comfortable place to lay my head at night. That was not true of Jesus.
I never used up our retirement while we were together. Jenny separated from me in October 2016. I used up retirement monies in December 2019.
Carolyn continues with two more erroneous comments.
“She had no sustainable way to support herself, so at the age of 51 she decided to go back to college, and get her associate degree as a medical assistant. Of course, no surprise to us, she graduated top of her class despite the overwhelming stress in her life and working simultaneously. She truly has incredible resilience, strength, and aptitude.”
In September 2012, Jenny started school at Cabarrus College of Health Sciences in Concord. She did not go back to college because she had “no sustainable way to support herself.”
She went back to school because she wanted to do more fulfilling work other than property management (Jan. 2010-July 2011) and later part-time retail sales (Oct. 2012-May 2013). She graduated from college in May 2014. She started employment as a Certified Medical Assistant in August 2014.
First, at no time did her income from these three jobs contribute to our living expenses. I allowed her to use all her money for personal expenditures as she desired. I also helped finance her education.
Second, she was not “working simultaneously” while she went to college. She worked part-time at Pier One for the first eight months of college. She did not work for the remaining 12 months. This allowed her to focus on her studies.
Next.
“Within weeks of graduation and landing her first job in her new field, she was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. She had no choice but to keep working in order to maintain her health insurance while my dad remained unemployed.”
Jenny graduated in May 2014. She landed her job in August 2014. She was diagnosed with cancer the end of December 2014. Carolyn is mistaken. It was not a matter of weeks.
During her 18 months of treatments Jenny was able to work a limited amount of time. That was due to 4½ months of chemotherapy, six weeks of radiation therapy, four surgeries, and 125 medical appointments. It is amazing she worked at all. She truly demonstrated “incredible resilience, strength, and aptitude.” Gratefully, her medical practice made special arrangements so she could keep her health insurance.
Carolyn leaves out vital information as to why I “remained unemployed.” First, half the hours of every day for 18 months were devoted to the care of Jenny and the operation of our home. I assumed all domestic responsibilities. I made sure she only had to rest and recover while home. That was a small thing to do for her.
Second, I had three sets of surgeries on both big toes in December 2015, August 2016, and December 2016 because I was semi-disabled. This is what I wrote on Facebook after the third procedure.
Brent Detwiler
February 15, 2017
People have asked how my feet are doing. Here’s a brief update. I had a third set of surgeries before Christmas. This time they fused the big toe joints. That involved excising [cutting] bone, using [2] plates and [14] screws, and doing bone grafts. The recovery time is six months. A photo follows for those who like visuals! By God’s grace, I’ll get back to walking with little or no pain and a proper gait. Thanks for your concern.
Continuing.
“Mom worked a demanding full time job while enduring chemotherapy, radiation, and a mastectomy. And yet though she was bone weary and so sick I don’t remember her ever complaining. She continued to press into the Lord and trust his ever present grace for her in the midst of the worst of circumstances. I remember her singing it is well with my soul and meaning it.”
Carolyn is grossly mistaken. While I applaud my wife for working at all she did not work a full time job. But Carolyn is quite right she never complained and drew near to the Lord for grace.
This next statement by Carolyn is the most painful and egregious.
“As my dad became increasing disconnected from reality, emotionally abusive, and unfaithful to their marriage, my siblings and I all started to yearn for her to experience freedom from the controlling marriage that was sucking the life out of her.”
Some background is necessary.
Jenny first called me insane the night she told me she was filing for divorce. That was October 2016 in between my second and third set of surgeries. I had no idea she and Carolyn had been planning for her to leave me for a long while. It was never hinted at or discussed. It came as a complete shock.
That evening Jenny also denounced me for exposing John Loftness. She exonerated him. He is the foremost defendant in the 46 page lawsuit.
John Loftness in Focus – Former Chairman of the SGM Board & Alleged Sexual Sadist
Sunday, July 14, 2013 at 5:32PM
Carolyn and Bryan followed Jenny and told Sovereign Grace friends and leaders I was out of my mind. The leaders in turn spread the slander to all the pastors in the denomination. They were quick to tell people in the churches who were reading my articles and asking questions that I went off the deep end according to my wife and children.
I had no idea this was going on until I was contacted by three different persons from three different states associated with three different Sovereign Grace churches. The malice was crushing. I wrote Rachael Denhollander and Heather Thompson-Bryant in my agony. Heather is the lead plaintiff in the lawsuit. I’ve included that correspondence at the end. I have never shared it before.
When Carolyn says I “became increasing disconnected from realty” she wants you to believe I am insane, out of my mind, and crazy. The medical term is psychosis.
Psychosis is a condition that affects the way your brain processes information. It causes you to lose touch with reality. You might see, hear, or believe things that aren’t real.
I don’t say this with malice but Carolyn is the one disconnected from reality. By that I mean disconnected from the facts, the truth, and the evidence. She has not studied my body of work. Instead, she has believed the talking points put out by Sovereign Grace Churches. I do not mean she has a mental illness.
I’d also suggest bitterness is a root problem in her life and it has defile many people.
Hebrews 12:15 (ESV) See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;
I was never emotionally abusive to Jenny. I never raised my voice to her or yelled at her during our marriage or after our marriage. None of the children have any recollection of me ever getting angry at her or demeaning her. My tribute to Jenny is testimony of how I treated her.
My “emotional abuse” resulted from having to put the will of God first and address the pervasive evil in Sovereign Grace Churches. I made certain, however, we never talked about any related issues during her 18 month battle with cancer. I singularly focused on tenderly caring for her.
The worse accusation is I was unfaithful to our marriage. By that Carolyn conveys I committed adultery and therefore Jenny had grounds to divorce. But Carolyn knows that is untrue just like Jenny knew it was untrue. It was never the basis for her divorcing me. In fact, Jenny knew she had no biblical grounds for divorce and therefore followed secular counsel to divorce contrary to Scripture and her vows.
That said, I was emotionally unfaithful to Jenny for a short period in 2012 but I was never unfaithful to her sexually in the least. By that I mean I have never so much as kissed another woman since we married in 1981.
Jenny and I talked with Kyle [Wallace] about this in April 2017. I asked her forgiveness but I am not sure I was ever forgiven. Carolyn has used [that] situation to tell others I was unfaithful to my dear wife. Never! It is a slanderous accusation of the most heinous kind.
I very much wanted to please Jenny and stop blogging, get a job, and stop using retirement monies but I could not do so. I wrote her this note the day I thought her divorce of me was finalized. It turns out it was finalized on October 31.
From: Brent Detwiler
Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2018 at 11:22 AM
Subject: Thanks for 36 Years of Marriage
To: Detwiler Jenny
Cc: Jonathan M Detwiler, Katie Detwiler; Seth Honea; Carolyn Honea; Bryan Detwiler; Stephen Detwiler
Dear Jenny,
Today is a terribly sad day for me. I miss you ever so much. After 36 years, our marriage will end but you will always remain my dear wife in my heart.
I am grateful to Lord for all our years together – for your love, support, and devotion. So many wonderful memories overwhelm me! Thank you for loving and teaching our children. For planting churches. For inspiring women for the Lord. And for so much else.
I wish I could have met your conditions for returning, but I was unable due to the dictates of my conscience. Whether right or wrong, my heart is pained and sorrowful that we are not together. I will never forget you!
And, of course, I feel the same way about the children. Each is precious to me. There is little I can do for them; but I am constant in prayer for their best and hope for better days ahead.
You remain the woman I love and will always thank God for the joy and honor of being your husband.
Brent
This is “the controlling marriage that was sucking the life out of her” according to Carolyn.
The “better days ahead” never came to pass. After the divorce I was disowned and cut off. That is not an overstatement. For the past five years, I have continued to reach out to the family.
For example with Carolyn. This is the note I sent her last month for her birthday. I did not hear back from her.
From: Brent Detwiler
Sent: Thursday, January 12, 2023 6:10 PM
To: Carolyn Honea
Subject: Happy Birthday
Hi Carolyn,
I just wanted to send a little note for your birthday tomorrow. First, I hope you have a wonderful day. Second, I’ll be praying for you. Third, I love you. Fourth, you need to slow down. You’re turning 38! Soon you’ll be 40!
I’ve attached some photos from a day trip I took to the Grand Canyon in October. Talk about old!
Dad
And I have always reached out to the children with cards, notes, and gifts. For example on Eva’s 13th birthday.
April 30, 2022
Hi Eva Claire,
Wow, you are turning 13 teen! You’ve become a young lady. I hope you have an enjoyable birthday with family and friends.
I am thinking of your wonderful smile and laughter and all the other delightful aspects of your character and personality. God made you to reflect him in unique ways.
I saw [online] the beautiful flower arrangements and delicious desserts you are making. Can you send me a big cake and a dozen chocolate covered strawberries? I’m kidding but one day I’d love to sample them!
I’m sure you’re enjoying the spring weather. Soon we will have our first 100 degree day but we have little humidity [in Phoenix] so it is not so bad.
You’re special to me. Keep growing close to Jesus.
Love,
Pop Pop
For the last five years the grandchildren have been forbidden any contact with me. For example, I have never received a call, card, note, or gift for my birthday or Christmas. I am not permitted to visit. I cannot talk to them. I cannot know about their lives.
On the other hand, when I wrote the tribute to Jenny, I did hear back from Carolyn but it was not to thank me.
From: Carolyn Honea
Sent: Thursday, January 26, 2023 8:38 AM
To: Brent Detwiler
Cc: Jonathan Detwiler; Katie Detwiler; Seth Honea; Bryan Detwiler; Stephen Detwiler; Alyssa D’Oyen
Subject: Re: A Tribute to My Dear Jenny
Please immediately remove all references to my name, birth year, my children, and all pictures of me or my children from your website.
I was never told Jenny was ill. In fact, I was not told she died. In the providence of God I discovered it on social media the day after she went to be with the Lord.
I wrote [called] Jonathan and asked him to call me. He emailed me instead and confirmed she had been sick and died the previous day. He also told me “the siblings would prefer to keep it [the Memorial] to those who have been active in her life in the recent years and not have you there.”
I anguished over my decisions and their impact on Jenny but believed I had to obey Scripture which commands such evils be exposed.
Ephesians 5:11 (NIV) Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
This is but one Scripture. There are hundreds of such passages in the Old and New Testaments. A basic part of justice is prosecuting the guilty and protecting the innocent. Anything else is an abomination.
Proverbs 17:15 (ESV) He who justifies the wicked and he who condemns the righteous are both alike an abomination to the LORD.
I could not allow victims of abuse be slandered and further traumatized. Nor could I allow perpetrators be vindicated by Sovereign Grace leaders and pastors. It was a matter of conscience. It was a matter of faithfulness to Christ. I had no choice. I had to expose their deeds of darkness if I claimed to a Christian.
Matthew 10:34-37 (NIV) “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. [35] For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—[36] a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’ [37] Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. [38] Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me.”
All their years at home I labored to teach the children the Bible and especially the gospel.
That included this text in Ephesians.
Ephesians 6:1-4 (ESV) Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. [2] “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), [3] “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” [4] Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
The first commandment with a promise is actually the Sixth Commandment in the Ten Commandments. In [the] context of the Old Testament, the promise was a long life in the promised land.
This command to honor parents is not just for young children. It is for sons and daughters throughout the duration of their lives. For example in Matthew 15:1-9, Jesus teaches that adult children have a responsibility to honor their aging parents by providing for them.
I am concerned for Carolyn. She has made it her aim in life to dishonor her father but her sin is not primarily against me. Far more significantly, her sin is against God and his holy law. I pray she repents before him. Otherwise, life will be sucked out of her.
Psalm 32:1-5 (ESV) Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. [2] Blessed is the man against whom the LORD counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit. [3] For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. [4] For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Selah [5] I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah
After I listened to Carolyn’s comments at the Memorial I wrote Warren [Smith]. He and I spent meaningful time together when I lived in Charlotte. I appreciate and respect him. I shared my perspective & anguish in brief.
From: Brent Detwiler
Sent: Monday, February 6, 2023 5:51 PM
To: Warren Smith
Subject: Good Shepherd
Hello Warren,
Are you still a member at Good Shepherd?
Thanks
Brent
From: Warren Smith
Sent: Monday, February 6, 2023 5:56 PM
To: Brent Detwiler
Subject: Re: Good Shepherd
Yes
From: Brent Detwiler
Sent: Monday, February 6, 2023 6:02 PM
To: Warren Smith
Subject: RE: Good Shepherd
Carolyn’s words were untrue. They tore my heart out.
Nothing I’ve written expresses this sentiment more clearly than a personal note I wrote Rachael and Heather in March 2019. I have never share it. I end with it.
From: Brent Detwiler
Sent: Monday, March 4, 2019 11:54 PM
To: Rachael Denhollander; Heather Thompson-Bryant
Subject: A Personal Note
Hello Rachael & Heather,
This is a personal note. I’m in a vulnerable place. I have received word in recent days that Sovereign Grace is using my family against me to promote their evil agenda.
I sent out The Documents on July 6, 2011. That resulted in an orchestrated campaign of slander against me. It was fierce. It was intense. They were determined to keep the truth from being known. And it underscored the need to continue writing. I began BrentDetwiler.com.
In August 2012, I thought my blogging was coming to an end. I had faithfully addressed the issues to the best of my ability. Then the original lawsuit came out in October 2012. I knew I had to address it. Then the first and second amendments in 2013. The conspiracy to commit and cover up the sexual abuse of children was horrific. Thereafter, other examples of serious corruption were brought to my attention in the providence of God that also needed to be addressed.
Unfortunately, my dear wife did not agree with my efforts. For instance, the articles I wrote about John Loftness and Gary Ricucci. She believes they are innocent. She has also defended SGM and CLC [Covenant Life Church] generally. Therefore, my work is viewed as evil. Three of my children have followed her example.
Understandably from her perspective, she wanted me to stop writing. I considered it before the Lord many times but as a matter of conscience felt the need to continue as more examples of evil, abuse, and corruption came to my attention in SGM and outside of SGM. I wish I could have pleased her but that would have required displeasing Jesus Christ as best I know his will. For me, it was a matter of obedience to Him and Scripture.
I tried to lovingly communicate this to her. She disagreed with me regarding God’s will. Unknown to me, she made plans to separate and pursue divorce without cause. It came as a complete surprise. I appealed to no avail. I have continued to reach out to her and convey my desire to be back together. I can’t begin to express the anguish. Only Christ means more to me than my wife.
This information has remained private in large part until recently. In January, someone contacted me with the question below. They left SGC in 2015 when they discovered their pastor, Matthew Wassink (Lenexa, KS), was involved with prostitutes for at least two years. He was one of C.J.’s friends and highly promoted by him in SGC.
“There is one more thing I would ask, and I beg your pardon if this is too personal. SGM has blacklisted you, accusing you of gossip and slander and urge all SGM members to avoid your writings. They claim, ‘he went off the deep end and his wife left him.’”
He went on to say that pastors in SGC were conveying this to people at large whenever they needed to discredit me. Then I received similar information last week from a former member of the Denver church. Then again today from a friend who used to be part of Warren Boettcher’s church in Marlton, New Jersey.
Boettcher is on the SGC Executive Committee. He also brought on Jason Reyes as an associate pastor when C.J. relocated him there after his son repeatedly sodomized David Stewart (cf. the “hush fund” account).
Anyway, here is his email. Nothing will surprise you. They are also slandering you and putting forth lies in defense of C.J.
From: Mike McNesby
Sent: Monday, March 4, 2019 9:24 AM
To: Brent Detwiler
Subject: SGM Spin on You and Rachel
Hi Brent,
I haven’t spoken to you in a while. … I used to go Warren Boettcher’s church in N.J. We interacted a bunch in the past.
I wanted to make you aware of how SGM is branding their spin on the entire situation. I still have family members that still go to Warren’s church and in the process of looking for a new one. I was told by one of them that Warren recently told them that Rachel is lying about the confidentiality agreement with SGM and that it was her that requested confidentiality, not SGM. He said that you are now divorced, and that your children will no longer interact with you.
Additionally, he told the family member that Sov Grace has all of these new rules in place to address any issues with sexual abuse and that C.J. Mahaney did not do anything wrong in the past which was proven by an investigation that took place.
Seems like that is the line that they are feeding their church members. I addressed all of those issues except those that dealt with your personal life. I’m hoping that they are lies, but even if they are not, I am appalled that they would bring things like that up to disparage the message that you have been telling the Christian world about regarding Mahaney and SGM. Not surprised though.
I hope you are doing well. I knew that Rachel’s involvement was how the Lord would bring discipline to them. It’s not over and their circle is getting smaller and smaller. They will NEVER agree to an investigation. They will continue to circle the wagons and ride off to oblivion. The Lord will deal with them individually. Their pride is their undoing.
They are liars. They tell them and they spread them.
By the way, if any of these issues regarding you personally are untrue, I will contact Warren directly and call him on to the carpet.
Also, I wonder if the Philadelphia Phillies would be interested in knowing that the player’s pastor is a pastor (Jeff Boettcher) in an SGM church that calls Rachel a liar, is being tossed out of the Southern Baptist Church and still has not addressed serious allegations against them. I’m not implicating Jeff in any direct issues, but he does toes [tow] the SGM line along with his father.
Talk to you soon.
Mike
Jeff Boettcher, Warren’s son, is the chaplain for the Philadelphia Phillies.
Over the past eight years, people have advocated bodily harm against me, prayed for my death, sought to frame me, attempted to extort me, betrayed me, created many false accusations against me, denied me all due process, sought to intimidate me with the threat of lawsuits, sent cease and desist letters from lawyers in an attempt to silence me, continuously slandered me, excommunicated me three times, recruited national leaders against me, sent vicious hate mail to attack me, and generally done all manner of evil to undermine me; yet nothing is so painful as the loss of one’s family.
I love my dear wife and children. I would do anything for them except that I cannot deny Christ or disobey his Word in the face of evil for the sake of peace, material well-being, reputational favor, or personal ease. He has brought a sword (Matthew 10:32-39). “A man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.” I know it well.
Sovereign Grace is now unleashing every weapon in their arsenal against us to guard their self-serving interests. They are crafty like the serpent of old. My confidence is knowing the battle is the Lord’s and he will crush them under his feet (Rom. 16:20).
I also know the Lord has raised you up like mighty warriors. I pray for you most days of the week; that Christ Jesus will give you strength, wisdom, courage and encouragement of heart. I also pray the Lord gives you mighty men, leaders in the body of Christ, who are willing to fight and die. That is, speak out against Sovereign Grace with clarity and conviction and die to concerns about reputation or the opposition of men.
For me, I’m increasingly aware my days are numbered. My circumstances educate me daily. My body has been beaten by many blows and my voice nearly extinguished by the evil one. Yet I pray unceasingly in joy assured of Christ’s victory, the supremacy of the gospel, and “the church in all her glory” (Eph. 5:27) before his coming.
To this end, I am reminded of Paul’s words to the Philippians. “For I have no one else of kindred spirit who will genuinely be concerned for your welfare. For they all seek after their own interests, not those of Christ Jesus” (2:20-21).
May God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit raise up these kinds of men and women in his triune service.
By His grace, for His glory, because of the cross,
Brent