This account was written by “Jane” in my defense and in her defense in December 2024 against the vicious slanders of her daughter. I am posting it now on my blog with permission.
“Jane” Speaks About the Real Story About Brent Detwiler
December 3, 2024
Hello. My screen name is “Jane” given to me by my daughter. She went online and created a blog about Brent Detwiler and his move to FL to live with us. It is outrageous in its content, so I am going to honestly set the record straight.
A few things to get out of the way first. Brent has not asked me to speak for him in anyway. This is my own idea, as he has not been the only one slandered. I have a few objectives in this blog. To address the outright slander against myself and since he lived with us for over a year to also set a lot of those facts straight. Finally, to give you a little bit of insight into my daughter who went online, wrote a blog, and intended to destroy both myself and Brent.
I have read a lot of the comments that people have made to her. The “three d’s” come to mind. All who have read the blog have been Duped, Deluded and Deceived. I intend to counter that and share as honestly and openly as possible. To those who have begun to read this, thank you so much. My prayer is that you will read until the end, and that God will affect your hearts to know that you are hearing the truth. I will not give you any less.
My husband and I belonged to a Sovereign Grace church in FL for about ten years. And due to our location and the fact that Brent Detwiler oversaw the FL churches, we were both aware of him. We heard him speak at the Celebration event in 2004. However, we did not personally know him. When “the documents” [read here] were “unleashed” in 2011, I was quite eager to read them. I was already somewhat disillusioned with Sovereign Grace.
I poured over the documents and was shocked by what I was reading, but I was also impressed with the level of accuracy. Brent had kept a trail of emails, notes, etc… but not for vindictive purposes. He was the unofficial archivist and historian of the ministry. So, he was not someone unloading their gripes and complaints on the internet. They were written in great order and everything was backed up with copious notes and emails as well. It also led me to the conclusion that I was not wrong about a lot of things within Sovereign Grace.
Fast-forward now to the Summer of 2023. It had been quite a while since I had visited Brent's FB page [cf. here]. I had a curiosity as to what might be going on in “Sovereign Grace land”, so I scrolled down to read. To say that what I read was a “shock” is an understatement!
The sex abuse issues that were covered up at the hands of the upper echelons of leadership were disappointing beyond measure [e.g., read the 46-page lawsuit against them here]. Young girls having to “forgive” their fathers, the mothers told it was “their fault” for not meeting the needs of their husbands. It made me angry!
I was brought up in a minister’s home, therefore a “PK”. In the course of the different pastorates that my dad had I was abused by two different men in two different churches. I bore the weight of those incidents and it has affected me my whole life. I did not tell my dad and mom. One of the men told me that we would have to move away if I said anything.
As I read about the abuse as well as Brent’s role in coming along beside the victims – helping with the court cases, being in the courtroom – it really affected me and it also brought up a lot of the effects of my own abuse as a kid. I felt compelled to Message Brent and ask him if there was a way that he could receive a donation. He wrote me back, gave me the information, and we messaged back and forth a few times.
I told him about our farm. He told me that the person that he was living with was going to be selling the house and he would be looking for a place to go (he was not hinting at an invitation). I impulsively said, “Oh, well if you need a place to go, we do have room on the farm.” Since I want to be honest in all of this…that really was impulsive! Ultimately, he accepted the invitation, said he thought that sounded nice, and that he had actually been thinking of heading back towards the east coast where he is from.
I did NOT just make a decision and tell him, “sure”. I went to my husband and shared about messaging with Brent and what had been said. We both came to the agreement that it would be fine for him to come to live on the farm. We had a 5th wheel RV – complete with a full-sized pantry, a dishwasher, washer and dryer and had thought before of establishing an Air B&B. In this case, we knew that he was a reputable person and thought it was a great idea.
NOTE: neither my husband nor myself were expecting him to pay anything to live here! That statement is 100% truth! We knew he had counted the cost when he exposed Sovereign Grace Ministries and it cost him everything. We looked at it as doing this unto the Lord. Before he made the trek to the farm he told us that he wanted to pay $600 per month. I told him it wasn’t necessary, but he absolutely insisted. He was not a “wolf” trying to “infiltrate” our home to take advantage of us. Far from it.
We had not had the 5th wheel on the road for over eight years. When we went to prep it before he arrived, we discovered that the sofa and loveseat had completely deteriorated in the hot FL sun. They were destroyed. We knew that we would replace them, but we would have to break them apart to get the pieces out of the (narrow) doorway. Then whatever we replaced them with would have to be “IKEA” type furniture, in order to get it inside of the unit.
I came down with a flu like sickness about 10 days before he was to arrive, so there was not time to do anything about the furniture before he came to live with us. He arrived around the 8th of October and moved his things into the 5th wheel right away. Where we live in FL there is a taste of seasonal fall weather. The first few days it was fairly cool, but then it warmed up. He did not tell us immediately, but when it warmed up the AC was not working.
When he let us know this, we told him to take one of the bedrooms in the downstairs of our home. The house is just under 4,000 square feet and even though the downstairs is considered a basement, 95% of it is well lit with windows, etc… Doesn’t feel like a basement at all. My husband told him that he would take it to the dealer and have them reconnect some wires. There were some other issues as well that we were unaware of.
NOTE: Brent NEVER said that it was an inconvenience that the TV did not work. In fact, we didn’t know it was not working, because he didn’t say anything about it. OH! Something else regarding the TV: we did not have any kind of service as far as cable, dish or streaming. Another reason we had no idea it was a bust. When I read this in her blog I honestly wondered where this was coming from. I believe it is one of the many things made up by my daughter to disparage.
After Brent came into the downstairs room and before we could take it to the dealership a co-worker of my husband had Covid, so WE ended up with Covid. We were both very sick! I think we both ended up with “long haul” Covid, so we MUTUALLY agreed that Brent could just move into the downstairs bedroom “permanently”. There was a lot of separation. My husband and I rarely went downstairs, except that the laundry room is down there as well as my quilt room. And, when I would go downstairs to either of those spaces, nine times out of ten Brent would quietly close the door to his bedroom. He did not cross the line and I never felt unsafe or threatened in any way.
My daughter said, “The story of Detwiler moving in was never clear, but…” It was very clear to us. One thing comes to mind with this statement: my daughter is less than two months from celebrating her 43rd birthday. To be perfectly honest, we did not owe her an explanation of any kind for inviting Brent to live with us. It was our farm, our home, and our guest. She talks about the situation in terms of “we” “our family”. While she is indeed my daughter, I do not feel the need to include her in our decisions, nor do I need to get her approval.
She then goes into full on “motormouth mode” in the next comments. I will quote verbatim: “Then there were complimentary restaurant meals, the sexual relations with my mother (we’ll get to that later) and the guarantee of having his jeans ironed to his liking when he asked…who even does that? Loaded question I know.”
If she were a journalist or writing a book, she would be sued for libel. The way she words this is appalling! And, she could still be sued. Let’s take it step by step dealing with the meals and ironing first. I prefer to write about the “sexual relations” separately because it was NOT in ANYWAY in the picture or in conjunction with the other things she mentions. Her comments are misleading. And AGAIN, my husband and I are adults. If we want to pay for someone’s meal that is OUR business!! She is married and has her own life (when she tends to her own home and marriage). What she does is her business and what we do is ours.
Side note here: She bought a new laptop computer for Brent because his was aging. She also helped him with computer issues because she was fully supportive of his work. Of course, she makes no mention of this in her duplicitous article.
The next one I will speak about is “the guarantee of having his jeans ironed”. This is a berserk charge and simple to address. I am a quilter. If any of you reading this are also quilters, you may be familiar with the Oliso Smart Iron. It is in a class by itself. Brent asked me about an iron to iron his jeans. That means that HE wanted to iron HIS jeans. But, because my iron was different and I wasn’t wanting a fire in the house, I offered to iron his jeans for him. I also – on very rare occasions – ironed two or three of his shirts. It was totally damage control for our house! Nothing more! My daughter makes it sound like he was self-centeredly imposing upon me. That is ridiculous.
Then she writes: “Brent’s entrenchment into my family life was slow-insidiously so. What was evident was that my mom’s eagerness to impress and host a man that she had been spiritually and morally captivated by would be ultimately her downfall: her financial wellness, her spiritual journey and her relationship with her family and children would all serve as collateral damage for Brent’s evil scheme.”
Where to EVEN start with this one?? Reminding you again that she did not live with us. My husband and I invited him to eat dinner with us in the evening. There were only the two of us and there was always plenty of food plus leftovers! Again, this was OUR decision. I guess the way Brent “entrenched” his way into the lives of my husband and myself was to show up at the kitchen table to eat with us for dinner. What? Maybe it would have been more pleasant for her if we had him sit on the floor under the table and beg??
He kept to himself during the day. He would come up at lunchtime to make a sandwich (which, the ingredients down to the mayo and mustard were bought by Brent). He also supplied his own breakfast. In reading comments later on about him taking over our house, I guess we should not have let him keep his perishables in the fridge. That would keep her from complaining (again about things of which she has NO IDEA) in her fictional blog.
As far as being “spiritually and morally captivated” and trying to “impress”? Anyone that knows me knows that I am not like this in anyway. I said earlier that I grew up in a minister’s home. When considering college I made a pact with myself that if I met someone and he wanted to go into the ministry it would be a hard “no”.
True, we enjoyed discussing the Bible, theology, etc. in the company of my husband. Iron sharpening iron comes to mind. Also, 1 John 1:7 says, “But if we walk in the light as He is in the light we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanses us from all sin.” When Christians come together it is always wonderful to discuss the Lord and Scripture. I am not “captivated” by any person; I am captivated by Jesus and the thought that he would take my sins upon himself and die in my stead. I am captivated that “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
If you don’t enjoy fellowship with fellow believers and the discussion of the Word of God then you may want to do some soul searching within. She has written so many things that are so inaccurate. If I am to type every one of them out this will be a long and tedious thing for me and for you, the reader!
I want to address Brent’s character while he lived in our home. I think that any of you that have hosted him for a season (and who are hopefully reading this blog!) will resonate with what I am about to say! Brent is an extremely grateful person. I cannot count the times that he verbalized to my husband and myself his gratitude for the gift of having a place to stay.
He was never in any way arrogant, he didn’t take over our home and he CERTAINLY didn’t ever in anyway think of “upgrading” his status and taking over my husband’s place in bed! That is a horrible thing to say, but so is 99% of what she has said. If Brent has stayed with you in your home, I welcome your comments and your testament to what I am saying. I have not met anyone who shows more gratitude and humility than Brent does.
And, there again we lived with him 24/7, unlike my daughter who did NOT! He was never indignant about the 5th wheel either. She then goes into a “rant” about his belongings. For example, where his coffee cup and coffee pot were located which she got completely wrong. It was on the bathroom sink. She says that “Brent would bask in the glow of his self-righteousness during the daylight hours (something I didn’t know vampires could tolerate)” and she goes on and on with this nonsense! I feel very sorry for her. To think that a person has nothing better to do than to sit and write filthy and disgusting things about another person.
A person that she only sees on rare occasions. I fear for her soul, to be honest. I fear for ANYONE’s soul who would write such garbage. She claims to be a Christian, but as I have read her writings, I have serious reservations. As stated in the beginning, his writings always had the evidence to back up his words. To say that he sat down and methodically thought about giving someone a tongue lashing shows the inaptitude of the one writing the non-sense. It also shows that she has never read his writings.
To those of you who read her blog and immediately stood in judgement…have you actually read his work? [see My Story - Resume] Have you read about the sex abuse crimes and the cover ups? Do you know that Nate Morales was put away for 40 years for abusing young boys [read here] for abusing young boys? And, did you know that CJ [C.J. Mahaney] and staff were aware of Nate’s actions and allowed him to flee Covenant Life Church and abuse boys everywhere he went? And one of those moves caused him to meet a single mom with young boys. She was totally unaware of his perversions and married him. Her “little boys” at the time were just what he was looking for. Have you read these? [e.g., C.J. Mahaney, Covenant Life Church & the Conspiracy to Cover-up the Sexual Abuse of Children and 100 Articles from 2012-2018 on the Conspiracy to Commit & Cover Up the Sexual Abuse of Children in Sovereign Grace Ministries] If not, you should.
My daughter thought it was her “duty” to discuss my addiction, so I will address this only briefly. I was in a car accident on November 8, 2006. A woman wearing a morphine pump slammed into the back of my car at a fairly high rate of speed. I have endured more pain than I like to remember or talk about. I have had 9 MAJOR back surgeries, countless procedures and I was seeing a pain management doctor who “legally” prescribed opioids for my pain. Thank GOD that such things exist!! I don’t think I could have survived without them.
If any of you have had chronic pain and have been prescribed opioids, you understand what I am saying. Those who have not had to use them should refrain from judging others. My kids did stage an intervention in February of this year. Going and detoxing was actually fairly easy and I am glad not to need them any longer. I will say that my husband and I had a plan in place to wean off of the meds at that point. My daughter was aware of this, but staged an intervention anyway and that was fine. I am grateful that my grown kids did this.
I will say that I was not addicted to “over the counter” meds. That should go without saying, though. If they were addictive they would not be OTC. I will say this also: when my husband and I found out the details as to why Brent would refrain from being part of the actual day of the staged intervention, we understood and actually thought it was a good thing. We would not have booted him from our home, but we saw it as a separation thing and felt good about him not participating. He did provide countless hours of counsel to my children and was a sounding board for them. One of my kiddos – a son – wrote him an email and profusely thanked him for all of his help. He sung his praises and followed that up with a bottle of wine.
It’s funny… Brent cannot win in her messed up scenarios. She says he infiltrated OUR home and ridicules him for that. Then when he wants to withhold from being part of the intervention, she rails on him for that as well.
I want to make another very important statement at this point. From March until October of this year, neither she nor her husband were inside the walls of our home. SO, the things that she pontificates on during that timeframe are shear conjecture. She literally has no idea what went on in our home, what was either said or done. None of it. It is a fantasy in her mind. Nothing more.
For example, she brings up about Brent having a chance to preach in a church that he had started attending and ultimately my husband and I visited and attended. She talks about him speaking while “carrying on a relationship with my mom”. She also talks about him making eye contact.
First and foremost, there was nothing between Brent and I at the time of his preaching which was twice in June [see here and here]. Secondly – and I think THE most important part of this section of misrepresentations – is that my daughter has never ever stepped foot into this church! Never! Her words are absolutely lies! She wasn’t there to see him supposedly gawking at me during his sermons. There was not even a hint of anything like that.
And for those of you who are waiting eagerly to hear about that part of the story, I am getting to that place very soon. But, what I want you to take away from what I have said so far is that my daughter is a very troubled individual. Most of what she has written is without a doubt lies.
I have let my husband hear some of the blog. The parts he has heard he has agreed. He would say that most of the attributes that she has “assigned” to Brent are completely wrong. She doesn’t like it that Brent corrected her husband for something significant and when that happened she was out for blood. [Read Confronting the Profuse Lying & Manipulaton of T.J. Fulmer] It is as simple as that. She decided to ruin someone’s life and could not let it go. And more of an action may have to be taken besides writing this blog.
If a profession journalist – as I have said before – does something like this they are fired and most likely will be sued for defamation. Some will say that I am taking up an offense for Brent. Absolutely not true. In slandering Brent, she also has slandered me. Despite the way she portrays me, I am not an idiot or a fool. Indulge me.
In 2001, I applied for a job as a project manager for a large corporation. The owner of the local company called me and told me he wanted me to apply for the job of Comptroller of the company. I blew him off. Two days later he called me and asked if I had contacted the accounting firm that was “vetting” people for the position. I told him I would call them that day, and I did. I went in and to make a long story short, I was tested and I beat out every other person who had tested and applied for the position. I did not have a Batchelor’s degree (there were quite a few who had tested who did have a degree) and I was hired for that position.
In addition, one of my surgeries involved getting a spinal cord stimulator inserted into my back permanently. One of the qualifying factors to being able to have this procedure, is to have a full psyche evaluation. I was deemed sound and mentally fit. Some of – actually a lot of – the things that she implies about me are just not true. I wish I understood the motivation.
In mid-September of this year, I did engage in an inappropriate relationship with Brent. The old adage that “it takes two” in a marriage to both be in the wrong and to work on a marriage is very true. With all of the things I have been through in having pain, the multitude of surgeries, it wreaked havoc on our marriage. I started suggesting several years ago that we needed to seek professional help, but that was never a priority.
My intent is not to disparage him, but I will supply examples to bring some context to the whole picture. Truthful examples. He has admitted as of late that he got “burned out” being a caregiver to me. There has not been any intimacy in our marriage in a very long time. I will leave it at that, except to say that we are now separated. I am living in the downstairs of our house, and he is upstairs. Our problems stem from YEARS of disfunction.
To be honest, it has been a relief to finally have things out in the open and to be able to move on. What happened with Brent had absolutely nothing to do with this decision. This was being played out on a daily basis and it came to a head. We are pursuing a divorce. My husband and I are amiable. In fact, ours has been a marriage that – when it began to die – it happened slowly. The things that I am writing here my husband has agreed with and he is actually the one who told me about his burnout from having to be my caregiver.
In regards to the inappropriate physical relationship with Brent: I am not going to go into the details of what happened, except to say a couple of things. It was myself that made the first move. I have truly never done anything like this. Ever. I believe it was a combination of things, but mostly that I was not receiving any affection from my husband. It. Just. Happened.
The second thing I will say is this: it was not pleasing to the Lord and I was (still am) truly sorry that it happened. Brent came to me one day and said that “the physical relationship needed to end”. He said it was very inappropriate, and he was right.
Here is where I want to interject something: some of you that have read my daughter’s blog are ones that have been helped by Brent. You could not say enough about his labors and the work that he has done, affecting countless numbers of sexual abuse victims in a positive way. It was also said in her blog that he is a “sexual predator”. That was one of the most shocking things that she said. And the most hurtful. He has gone out of his way to defend “the least of these”. And many of you are overseeing a smearing campaign!
Brent has come forward and admitted to what happened. [read here]
He has confessed to the Lord and repented. He also told my husband (the night that the minister and a deacon were at our house) that he was sorry and asked my husband’s forgiveness. The next morning I sat down with my husband and told him how sorry I was that I had hurt him. I told him what I did was wrong and it should not have happened. My daughter mentioned that I never sought forgiveness from my husband. But, again she doesn’t live in our house. I will also interject here that I am in no way “falling on a sword”! That is not my style. Anyway, my husband told me that he forgave me, but the subject continued to come up and I knew that we would never be able to get past it. HE wouldn’t be able to get past it.
I want to also say that there are a couple of very serious things that he did – one that could have cost me my life and almost did – and he has never to this day come to me and apologized for either incident. He has not asked my forgiveness and they were hideous incidents. They would have been very fresh on his mind, because I spoke of them the night that the pastor was in our home. Like I said, it was the next morning that I sat down to speak with him and ask forgiveness. He never brought up either incident.
One of those times ended up involving a family member calling 911. When the paramedics arrived, my blood pressure was 44/22 and all the way to the hospital she was giving me shots (of what I perceived to be adrenaline) trying to get my blood pressure to stabilized. We didn’t go slow down the highway either. I believe had I not reached out that night to the family member (who is the one that wrote the blog in which I am responding...I am giving credit where credit is due) I would not have lived. One of my husband’s downfalls is not being able to admit he has done wrong, apologize and ask forgiveness. There are other incidences such as being near death, so when I say there is too much water under the bridge that is the truth.
I know that I am a child of God and that he has forgiven me. People (family) have been so judgmental! One family member indicated that they were concerned about my “eternal security”. But, the only one who really knows what is in our hearts is the Lord. I know 100% that I have belonged to Him from before the foundations of the world. I am a sinful person, living in a sinful world, serving an awesome God! I fail miserably at times, and yet His grace is sufficient.
Something was said by my daughter about my ever changing “doctrine” or something to that effect. I grew up the daughter of an Assembly of God minister. I was saved when I was eight years old. But in 2010, I experienced a radical encounter with the Lord. It changed me in ways that were astounding. And since that time, since I came to understand that the Lord makes the first move towards us and it is not the other way around, I am firmly of the Reformed faith. Unless the Holy Spirit regenerates our heart we cannot know Jesus. Titus 3:5 says, “Not by works of righteousness which WE have done, but according to HIS mercy HE saved us. By the washing of regeneration and the renewing of the Holy Ghost.” Roman 9:21 “Or does not the potter have a right over the clay, to make from the SAME lump one vessel for HONORABLE use and another for DISHONORABLE use?” I know that I have been forgiven of my sin. And no matter how mankind judges – and this has been happening since the beginning of time – I know where I stand. My feet are planted on a firm foundation and the Gospel is the ONLY hope for this world.
I need to shift gears now in regards to my daughter. I have agonized over this and have even delayed publishing my blog. But, at the end of the day I am sharing this solely for you to understand who has blogged about myself as well as Brent. I will admit I have been very angry over what she has done. That is the truth. “Slander” doesn’t seem adequate enough and that is coupled with malice. I have searched my heart and I am NOT doing this with malice and I wish it wasn’t necessary, but I do believe it is.
In 2005, my daughter came from Tennessee to FL for Christmas. She loved to game online and in the process had met someone. My daughter is a beautiful woman, but she has struggled with her weight for a good part of her life. She has had a tendency to present pictures of herself online that make her look much thinner than she actually is in real time. Anyway, to try and make this as short as possible, she was going to leave our house and drive across the country to Los Vegas to meet up with a 15 year old “boy”. The car that she had I wouldn’t have driven from TN to FL. But, at times there has been a “disconnect” where things like this are concerned. There is no rationale behind such an impulsive move. At this time she was about to turn 24 years old. In today’s economy that gets a person on a registered sex offender’s list for life. AND, if the mother had pursued that course of action it would have very likely happened.
I begged her not to go. But, she could not “reason” how terrible this decision was. She had never met the boy, or the family! And yet, it seemed like no big deal that these were the facts and that he was only 15 years old. Well, my predictions were correct. She called us not too long after getting out there. He was angry that she had deceived him [she was morbidly obese], and at one point he had held a gun to her head. She conned him [about being thin]. He was a kid and reacted like a kid. We paid to fly our younger son out to Vegas to accompany her back to FL. We also paid for hotels along the way. She had burned the bridges in TN so she was staying with us in our home.
Just a few months later she went to apply for a quick passport. She had met another guy while gaming and he lived in Canada. He was a legal adult and to be honest we were able to meet him and thought he was a nice guy. They came down in 2010 and were married on the beach. But, not long after they had tied the knot the movie, “Eat, Pray and Love” came out in theaters. She likened this to a lifestyle that she thought was appealing. She was restless, bored with her marriage and did not want to stay in Canada. But, when she left Canada she did not end up living the kind of life that the movie had portrayed. She left her husband…and moved to South Carolina and started living with another guy who also gamed.
They lived together for several years while she was still married to her husband who lived in Canada. In her blog, she refers to Brent and I as “the dumbest adulterers she had ever seen”. She ridiculed us, she smeared Brent and told outright lies about him, and yet she lived as an adulterer for years! And you want to know something? I never judged her. I didn’t blog about her. When she was broke with no money I willingly gave of what I had. I didn’t even think twice about it.
While I am on this subject I also have three other grown kids. They have lived “different” lives than I have and lives that I didn’t always approve of, but I didn’t blog about it. I didn’t crucify them nor did I crucify the one they were with. With only one exception. One of my daughters (not the blogger) started dating a guy whom we discovered was a registered sex offender. She was underage at the time and we did forbid her to see him. She left our home and was gone for a long time. She came home in time for Christmas, and the daughter who has blogged and judged myself and Brent so harshly brought that guy up to our house around Christmas time! She didn’t ask us if this was okay or let us know ahead of time that she was doing this. The moral of this story in her world is it’s okay for her to bring a registered sex offender into my home unannounced, but it’s equally okay to disparage myself and Brent Detwiler. Marinate on that for a little while.
I truly believe that we are all sinners who are in desperate need of the Savior. I also believe that Jesus paid a debt on my behalf that he did not owe. And, I owed a debt that I could never pay! And at the crux of this dilemma, 2 Corinthians 5:21 says, “For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” People, that is good news! Not just for me, but for you as well!
Is it possible to lay the judging aside and be grateful for the mercies of the Lord that are new every day? 2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” WHAT???? Again, this is GOOD NEWS! Paul goes on to say, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” This is the kind of thing that gives me SO MUCH HOPE for my future!
There is a whole lot more in her blog that I would like to have addressed, but I truly hope that the message of the truth is coming through loud and clear. I am not “brainwashed” by Brent Detwiler! And, despite what happened, I believe Brent to be a good person who has done a lot of good. Those who were in the SGM Survivors group you know this to be true. He stood with you even when many trolls blasted him on the website! He didn’t come into the “room” using an alias. That would have been much easier, in fact.
He has advocated for those who have been hurt due to sexual abuse and the heavy handedness in Sovereign Grace and other ministries [see here]. I have said this before, but it is worth repeating. There are many people who are willing to count the cost. There was one in the Bible, the rich young ruler. He wanted to follow Jesus and he gave an oral resume of the things he had left behind in order to follow. But, Jesus said to him, “One thing you lack…” This man counted the cost, but the cost was going to be too great and he turned and walked away.
See, many count the cost, but they are unwilling to pay the price. Some pay the ultimate price. Mark 10:29-31 Jesus said, “Truly I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the Gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life. But many who are first will be last and the last first.”
Please feel free to comment. It is okay if you see things differently than I do. We don’t all see eye to eye, but my goal was to shed the TRUE light of what transpired in our home and to give an honest “evaluation” of Brent when he came to live with us up until he moved out. He was with us for almost a year before anything immoral happened. It was a very short time and then it was over.
You may ask questions, but I do ask that you practice kindness. Meaning no cursing will be tolerated. No slander will be tolerated. I also want to remind each of you that when the Pharisees brought the woman who was caught in the act of adultery to Jesus, Jesus had this to say: Any of you who are without sin let him be the first to throw the stone at her. And then, Jesus knelt on the ground. Slowly the Pharisees put their stones on the ground and walked somewhat angrily away.
But there was one amongst them that day who could have thrown a stone. He could have thrown a lot of stones! But, instead he had knelt and was moving his finger through the sand. That one was Jesus. He stood up and said, “Woman, where are your accusers?” Then he said these words to her: Neither do I condemn you! The Perfect One… the one without sin let grace and mercy flow from his lips. People this is good news! He does not condemn me! How many of you are able to throw stones at myself or the other person who was involved? I’ll just wait for a minute…. That’s what I thought. Not one of you are without sin! Not one! So, please think about this when you want to throw the book at either of us. Search your own heart first.
I know there will be backlash, because I have mentioned Brent many times in this blog. I had to and it is necessary. He was a part of the story. He was accused in her blog of horrible things and he lived in OUR house and I have been able to give an accurate account of his time with us. Think about these things before you throw stones in the manner of sitting behind a keyboard letting judgment and hate spew forth. Every last one of us is dependent on the grace and mercy of the Lord.